As I look back on the (past) year, I see much pain, much suffering, and great joy. It seems to me, that in spite of my sinfulness, I have come a little closer to Christ; I see His Face a little more clearly. And seeing His Face, I see myself a little better. Here, as I pause and look deep into my heart, I must admit to a feeling of fear and near trembling. The graces given to me were many, so many were God’s gifts to me. And how little use I made of them! How loudly I have spoken throughout the past year of the faults and failings of others, especially the clergy. And how little I have done to correct my own. Lord, have mercy!

I have, in the depths of my heart, suffered in my pride, and have mistaken sufferings for some real woe. How little do I know of the elusive virtue of humility. And yet, one look within me ought to annihilate me completely! All I have to say for myself, as I look at the past year, is that I have tried, alas very badly, to love and serve God, and through Him, my brothers and sisters. I could have and should have done better. Alone, dear Jesus, I cannot. But with Your help, I will try again.

I want to be very still, not even praying with my lips, just sit at Your feet my God, and listen to the great silence in which You seem to whisper to my heart. There are so many things I want to hear from You in that silence; yet I must go back into the rush and turmoil of life. But, as I think of it, I see a way out. And that is to keep deep in my soul, within the rush and turmoil, that great silence and peace in which alone we poor mortals can clearly hear Your quiet voice. We are so weak that alone we can do nothing, not even keep silent in our souls in order to hear Your voice. I ask… for the grace of that silence that will allow me to hear Your voice and for the courage to do as Your voice will guide me. Amen.

The servant of God Catherine Doherty

The post A January Prayer first appeared on AirMaria.com.

Oh the depth of the riches of wisdom and the knowledge of God! Today, my heart stands in love and awe before these great words of Saint Paul: the thought comes to me not to wonder that I love You but to marvel that You love me! As the mystery of Your love unfolds before me in the Incarnation, the Redemption, I realize more and more my utter nothingness. What am I? Just clay, dust. Yet, through Your love, I am godlike. I am a god-bearer.

I have made my choice. I want to be wherever You are. I want to follow You to the end. Yes, I know Your end was Calvary; Your way was the way of the Cross. It will also be mine. I know that, alone, I cannot make it, for all comes from You, all goes through You, and all leads to Your glory. So humbly and simply I ask, “Take my hand and lead me.”

It is You who put the desire to follow You into my heart. It is to You that I turn when crosses You have chosen for me seem too heavy. It is to You I look when, bruised and bleeding, I cannot walk anymore. Here I am, O most holy Trinity–in my nothingness and unworthiness–Your fool, Your child: Yours to do with as You please. I need Your help; alone I cannot do anything. I love You. I adore You.

The Servant of God Catherine de Hueck Doherty

The post I Choose God first appeared on AirMaria.com.

Another year closed. As I look back on the year, I see much pain, much suffering, and great joy. It seems to me, that in spite of my sinfulness, I have come a little closer to Christ; I see His face a little more clearly. And, seeing His face, I see myself a little better. Here, as I pause and look deep into my heart, I must admit to a feeling of fear and near trembling. The graces given to me were many, so many were God’s gifts to me! And how little use I made of them! How loudly I have spoken throughout this year of the faults and failings of others, especially the clergy. And how little I have done to correct my own. Lord, have mercy! I have, in the depths of my heart, suffered in my pride, and I’ve mistaken these sufferings for some real woe. How little do I know of the elusive virtue of humility. And yet, one look within may ought annihilate me completely!

All I have to say for myself, as I look at the past year, is that I have tried, alas very badly, to love and serve God, and through Him, my brothers and sisters. I could have and should have done better. Alone, dear Jesus, I cannot. But with Your help, I will try again. I want to be very still, not even praying with my lips just to sit at your feet, my God, and listen to the great silence in which You seem to whisper to my heart.

There are so many things I want to hear from You in that silence; yet I must go back into the rush in turmoil of life. But, as I think of it, I see a way out. And that is to keep deep in my soul within the rush and turmoil that great silence and peace in which alone we poor mortals can clearly hear Your quiet voice. We are so weak that alone we cant do nothing, not even keep silent in our souls in order to hear Your voice.

For the new year that comes so full of possibilities of serving You, I ask three gifts in memory of the three wise kings. I asked for protection for my son, for the grace of that silence that would allow me to hear Your voice, and for the courage to do as Your voice will guide me. Amen.

The Servant of God, Catherine De Hueck Doherty

The post Thoughts for the New Year first appeared on AirMaria.com.