The Church in the western world is in a bad way these days, and no where is it much worse than here in Canada. Maybe parts of Europe, but really, we have a whole lot of money-lovers and status seekers pretty much running things in most dioceses here.

Well , I guess there are plenty enough good reasons to “offer it up”, all this that is happening now. Still, our kids are being taught that what the Church teaches regarding the “grave harm” and “immorality” of divorce is pretty much just all a lot of antiquated drivel from the past. These are our Catholic children, but in reality they are being given over to this secular culture of death and divorce and the love of money.

But the truth concerning the “grave harm” and “immorality” of homes broken apart for the sake of the parents’ pride and ego still remains. And the children continue to suffer, and become hardened, and selfish, and indifferent to what Holy Mother Church has to give to them.

Better a millstone be hung around our necks.

It seems that many think that somehow this is all my own fault. Not sure how struggling with health for years fits that judgment, but anyway, I’m still praying to Our Lady and still know that the Holy and Apostolic Church is the place to be. Even though there are priests here who encourage, or rubber stamp, my wife’s desire to abandon me. More importantly, our two girls are learning quite a lesson over the past year or more — that their Papa is disposable and that we help the sick only if their sickness and our helping them doesn’t interfere too much with our own desire for fun and pleasure.

I’m trying to learn not to be bitter about all of this, and it’s not easy for me, as you might guess from this post. The fact that many of the people involved in and supporting this hypocrisy are connected to the diocese in some official capacity (teachers, high school principal, priest) does not make forgiving any easier. My wife herself is a teacher at the diocesan high school. And then there is the question of forgiving, but not condoning, sin and hypocrisy. I’ve got a lot to learn.

I am certain that staying as close as I can to Our Lady is still the best path. But I wonder sometimes, in spite of truly wanting, I hope, to do my best, if I am somehow failing her and Jesus? And in particular, how is it that by maintaining a relationship with Jesus through Mary has it all come to this for myself and my girls? The aforementioned people involved in the diocese seem only interested in appearances and worldly success. I just don’t fit into the picture once people have chosen that path. And quite honestly, none of them have ever talked to me about the whole situation, or ever tried to reach out to me and help me in any way. They are all quite eager, it seems, to toss me on the heap. But I believe, I hope, Jesus and Mary have other plans for me.

Little wonder a great majority of the kids in the high school here think the Church is wrong about homosexual activity, premarital sex, and could care less what the Church teaches about anything, unless it suits their selfish tastes. This is, in essence, the example they get from those in authority.

I need a lot of help in learning, and practicing, forgiveness and love. Our examples of Jesus and Mary are so wonderful, but I am not like them very much. Please, pray for me that I learn how to live like Jesus and Mary, and what it is that I need to do to most help my children now. I pray a lot, and I try to love. But it hasn’t been enough. I need to be successful and healthy in this world, or accept from those in positions of authority, and I might add, those in the diocese who live in temporal luxury, the stigma of being a failure and and unworthy individual.

Thank you.